Purity and Steadfastness
The hustle and bustle of academic work led me to another sleepless night after almost one year. This busyness has been for hours coupled with the irresistible temptation to sleep until now, when I finally decided to counter it by a cup of coffee and one unwashed apple.
So why this internal unrest? As I said, academics has once again challenged me. But more than that, I believe the challenge I accepted is not proportional to the time given me. Hence the wakefulness at 3 am in the morning.
I say it is not proportional because today, I have four exams – not very likely for a college student, at least for my university where the average maximum number of exams in one day is equal to three. That’s a surplus of one exam for me. Assuming the 3-exam average is what’s efficient, I am sadly experiencing then an inefficiency. That’s holding all other things (announcement of exam date, leisure time if it exists, etc) constant.
Okay, cut the economic shizz.
While studying, which was actually staring into oblivion ’cause I couldn’t take in any more, God reminded me of this verse from Psalms 51:
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
I was wondering why on this unjust academic world did God speak to me through this passage. And then boom. He answered me.
This is what He said, in my own words:
I know what you are going through. (Psalms 139) I planned it. (Jeremiah 29:11) Keep in mind that I have a purpose for this and that all things work together for good of those who love me. (Romans 8:28)
I’m telling you to ask me for a pure heart because you need it. You need a pure heart to know why you are studying. That way, you won’t get confused as to the motive of all this hustle and bustle you call. A pure heart tells you to look to me, the very example of purity. Discard everything else and be refreshed. Yes, be refreshed. Do not worry, I’m not saying you’re going to forget everything you studied. I want you to rest for a moment. Relax. A pure heart will not be prone to worrying. Okay so, now, I am creating in you a steadfast spirit. Unwavering, persistent, committed, faithful. Yes, you ought to be that, especially in the maintenance of a pure heart. I see how much you are committed to studying. I know that you can all the more be committed to me. Yes. Trust in me. What you study is only a part of the whole picture of my faithfulness. I am the very one you can lean on, not your brain, not your friends’ notes, not the sample exams. I have seen you faithful with your studies and now I’m proving myself to be faithful to you. Just keep trusting me. And always be pure in heart. Love you Joana.
Abounding in grace, favor, wisdom and everything good,